Dr. Abdul Kalam gave a wonderful answer to the question asked by BBC: Define Birthday and Kalam reply was, “It was the only day in your life…….Your mother smiled when you cried,” while on the other days if you get hurt, your mother weeps. But my question is if mother weeps then why does she beat? Our ideological elder reply is beating is a way to make you behave. They have their own reasons; the bit of spanking makes them realize their mistake.
It is a common scene, mother with a broom in her hand ready to hit her child to make him realize what he did was wrong, “do you know the consequences of what you did, she would say? As per parents perception, hitting and a challenge to hit are harmless so long it does not hurt. Whatever be the reason of spanking, but one thing that all psychologists, educationists and parents admit spanking does more harm than good. It is a
socially obtuse concept which cannot be a guaranteed solution to make a child behave in a well-mannered way. Psychologists also defy beating it is not morally defensible to hit a child when a motive is to teach a lesson.
Many times you disagree with your colleagues or your friends on many issues but does that give you right or means to hit that person? If that is illegal then how a beating of children is right, it means you are denying them the right to express and live as a dignified person of a family and a citizen of this nation.
Studies confirm that parents spank the child as they do not know other means or they are so obsessed in their own daily lives, they find spanking an easiest way to bring their children in their hooks.
Here I am not telling you how to do parenting, but I do not want to hesitate telling how emotional and grave psychological impact it generates on the child’s mind. As children are great imitators, so they reciprocate as you do, you beat them and they would also raise their hands on you, which sure you don’t like. So spanking is in fact making children more aggressive, violent and vulnerable to low self-esteem and depression.
Studies in U.S revealed that people above 20 years who had faced grabbing, pushing, shoving, slapping and hitting in their childhood are still suffering from low self-esteem, mood disorders, depression, and mania. This shows children retain the burden of corporal
punishment all through their life. Each time a negative memory is triggered, the implication of it becomes more drastic as children began to develop fear, low-esteem, anger, hatred and stammering and even passive or aggressive behavior. In adulthood, it can also trigger obesity.
You also must have seen that when you regularly beat your children, they would escape into the hiding and would never come out unless you force him to. You think he misbehaved, no in fact, he is just afraid of you? You also can’t.
Ask this question to yourself, do you own your little ones to beat them?